Invitations to formal dinners may be engraved or written by hand, or they may take the form of a card that is of general invitation. The invitation may even be telephoned depending what is most convenient for you. 

I decided to share with you things I learn as I walk on my path in the fashion world.  Knowing what your doing is key (right?).  Little things like this one makes one more aware of the world around them. Here's one of them:

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

Taking Leave

That the guest of honor must be the first to take leave was in former times so fixed a rule that everyone used to sit on and on, no matter how late it became, waiting for her whose duty it was to go. More often than not, the guest of honor was an absent-minded old lady or a celebrity who very likely was vaguely saying to herself, "Oh, my! are these people ever going to go home?" until by and by it dawned upon her, or someone reminded her, that the obligation was her own !

Any type of formal occasion, at a dinner as well as at a ball, the hostess stands near the door of her drawing room. As guests enter she greets them with a warm smile and handshake while saying something pleasant to each guest. If you are a guest you do not necessarily need to say something of importance to your guest; charm of expression and manner conveys a far more gracious welcome than most elaborate phrases. Avoid saying anything elaborate to your guests when they arrive. Putting in the effort to make each and every guest feel special with your courteous, charm and manners will make the occasion a memorable one. Make your guests feel like they are in the comfort of their own home by giving them your complete attention even if it is only for a moment when you greet them. 

At a formal dinner, with many people,  the butler always stands behind the hostess' chair, except when giving one of the men under him a direction or when pouring wine. He is not to leave the dining room himself or ever to handle a dish. At a smaller formality, where he has no assistant, he naturally does everything himself; when he has a second man or a waitress, he passes the principal dishes and the assistant follows with the accompanying dishes or vegetables. In any case, whether there are two or two hundred at a table, plates are changed and courses are presented in a precise manner. No serving dishes are ever put on the table except ornamental dishes of fruit and sweetmeats. The meat is carved in the kitchen or pantry; vegetables, bread, and condiments are passed and returned to the side table. 

At the end of a dinner, when the last dish of sweets has been passed and the hostess sees that no one is eating, she looks across the table and, catching the eye of one of the ladies, slowly stands up. The one lady who happens to be observing the hostess also stands up, and in a moment everyone is standing. The gentlemen offer their arms to their partners and conduct them back to the living room or wherever they are to sit during the rest of the evening. Each gentleman then leaves his partner and follows the host to the room where after-dinner coffee, liqueurs, and cigars and cigarettes are being passed. The ladies go to the drawing room where they have their coffee, liqueur and cigarettes passed to them. 

If your a host or hostess the established length of time that a hostess may wait for a belated guest is fifteen minutes. Waiting more than twenty minutes shows a lack of consideration to many for the sake of one. When the late guest finally enters he or she should come up to the hostess and apologize for being late. The hostess remains seated and the guest merely shakes hands quickly so that all the men at the table don't need to rise. The hostess should be polite even if the guest is late to not ruin any part of the dinner or formality. Saying something polite such as, "I was sure you did not want us to wait dinner" is perfectly fine. In other days the newcomer was always served with the dinner from the beginning unless she was considerate enough to direct the servant who held her chair, "Let me begin with this course." But today so many people arrive late that it has become proper to bring no dish back after it has left the dining room. Avoiding the situation of being late shows that you are attentive, punctual and courteous. 

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

Luncheons and Invitations

The formal luncheon which is less formidable than the formal dinner only differs from it in minor details. The most significant difference is that luncheons are generally given by and for woman. It's not unusual, however, to include an equal number of men on a Saturday, Sunday, or holiday, and their presence or absence may make other differences, as in the heartiness of the menu.

 

The word "lunch" is used much more often than "luncheon." Indeed, "luncheon" is rarely if ever spoken, but is written in books and is sometimes in third-person invitations. Although invitations may be telephoned and occasionally an engraved card is used for an elaborate luncheon, especially for one given in honor of a noted person, formal invitations to lunch are nearly always written in the first person and rarely sent out more than a week in advance. For instance:

 

If Mrs. Toplofty's luncheon were given in honor of somebody - Mrs. Eminent, for instance - the phrase "to meet Mrs. Eminent" would be added immediately after the hour. If it is a very large luncheon for which the engraved card might be used, "To meet Mrs. Eminent" is written across the top.

If cocktails are to be served at your party there should be two or three varieties offered by the butler. The butler should indicate what type of cocktails are being offered, such as Martini's, old fashioned, and etc. For the guests that prefer non-alcoholic beverages there must be glasses that serve something other than liquor. If the dinner is delayed by the necessity of waiting for guests who are late then only one cocktail need be served. All formal dinners should start as nearly as possible at the hour stated on the invitation. 

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

Gloves and Napkins

Ladies always wear gloves to formal dinners and take them off at the table. Entirely off. It is hideous to leave them on the arm, merely turning back the hands. Both gloves and bags are to be laid across the lap, and one is supposed to lay the napkin, folded once in half across the lap too, on top of the gloves and bag, and all three are suppose to stay in place on a slippery satin skirt on a lap that more often than not slants downward!

To give a perfect dinner is the supreme accomplishment of a hostess, for it means not only perfection of service and culinary skill, but also the ultimate of personal charm and tact. Although the truly formal dinner is almost a thing of the past it is still more commonly used at official functions. Nevertheless, official dinners cannot be ignored, every detail is a definite part of the complete pattern from which all details of even the simplest dinner-giving are chosen. There are many duties of the host and hostess. 

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

Finishing the Set of the Table

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

The Setting of Glassware and More

The wineglasses that are to be chosen will depend of course upon the menu, but their table-setting arrangement will have to be according to size, in that little ones cannot very well be hidden behind large ones. Therefore, the goblet for water is places directly above the knives are the right of the plate; next to it, at a slight distance to the right, the champagne glass; in front and between these two, the claret or white wine glass, if either is to be served. The sherry glass goes either in front or some what to the right of the wine glasses. If there is to be a glass for burgundy, it would be back between the goblet and the glass for champagne. Instead of grouping the glasses you can have them placed in a straight row slanting downward from the goblet at the upper left to the glass for sherry at lower right. At the private dinner table, two or three glasses, in addition to the goblet, are usual - one for sherry and one for claret and possibly one for a light white wine or a burgundy. 

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

The Setting of the Places: Silver

The number of plates will be determined of course by the number of guests and also by the amount of courses that are to be served during the private dinner. Plates must be properly positioned and are put around the table at equal distances - spaced with a string if whoever is setting the table doesn't have a accurate eye. On the left of each plate, handle toward the edge of the table and prongs up, is put the salad fork; the meat fork is put next, and then the fish fork. Just to the right of the plate, is put the salad knife, closest to the set of forks of their guest, then the meat knife followed by the fish knife, the cutting edge of each toward the plate. Afterwards, comes the soup-spoon and then the oyster fork or grapefruit spoon. There should not be more than three forks and three knives on the table when it is set. Therefore, if there is an additional course, which is rarely seen these days, between the fish and main dish when it appears, the fork for this course is placed between the fish fork and that for the meat, and the salad fork is left out to be brought in later. The salad knife is also omitted, as it is in any case when the salad does not require one. Also, for informational purposes a butter knives and plates are never used on a formal dinner table. In short, the silver is arranged so that one uses the utensils farthest from the plate, taking the next in order for each succeeding course. 

THE MALDIVES:

This is where my mind goes when I fantasize about getting away; words cannot describe the beauty of the Maldives.  Not only of the island but the people as well.  Imagine growing up on a island where the village is the island - instead of taking the bus to school, a public boat comes to take the kids.  Water is a part of your daily life from the moment you are born from playing in the sand as a toddler to using a wooden board to surf as a teenager, the water is your life.

The Maldives was elusive to me for many years.  The reason why I say this is because I would have business in Colombo, Sri Lanka, and would always want to go for a week-end to Male, its' capital.  But it isn't as easy as going to Los Angeles and doing a jaunt to San Francisco.

Malé Airport, the main airport for the Maldives, is its' own island, Hulhulé Island, located on the North Malé Atoll.  Malé (pronounced 'mar-lay') the city, its capital, is adjacent to the airport on a different island.

Malé was formally called Mahal, which means "most important island" and "where the king resides" in Sanskrit. It was the King's Island from where the ancient Maldive Royal dynasties ruled and where the palace was located for over 2000 years of its' history. 


The modern Malé looks like a concrete city, which is only 2km by 1km!  It's the capital city of the Maldives and the center of its' administrative functions.  Then the country spreads out to all these little atolls, or groups of islands (imagine an atoll being a state, like Illinois, each having a capital, Springfield, Malé is the equivalent to the US's Wasthington DC).  Only 74,000 people inhabit the Maldives!  The only way to get anywhere is by slow or speed boat or by water plane/taxi.

The Maldives is known for its surf and incredible sea life and it attracts all kinds of tourists, from the well-heeled traveler to the long blonde haired/blue eyed wavers.

You can't just arrive at Malé Airport and have no plans.  If you did, Malé's relatively few hotels are constantly packed with airline crew and tourists.  The city itself is packed with buildings, narrow streets and, of course, smog.


Finally when I did decide to go there, for the first time, I decided to stay at the Four Seasons in Kuda Huraa, which is a quite far from the airport (about one hour away by speed boat at a cost USD$150.00 per person one way).  Some resorts, like the Four Seasons Landaa Givaavaru are much farther away, requiring a sea plane from the airport.

I was the first one out of customs, but I had to wait for everyone who was staying at the hotel to come out.  They were all honeymooners, mostly Australian and Japanese couples, except for me.  I was also the only American.  Getting to the Maldives requires either a transfer in the Middle East or SE Asia, and including the time for transfers, thirty plus hours on an airplane.  Most Americans, understandably, prefer spending less time on an airplane and more time in the sun, and travel to closer (and less expensive) resorts in Mexico and Caribbean. 

Getting on the sea boat, all passengers had to put on life preservers for the one hour ride to the hotel.  It was pitch dark and really couldn't see anything for the exception of the bright lights of Malé from a distance.  (On the way back, by the way, our boat came to a screeching halt throwing us all forward - we almost hit a fishing barge with no lights).


The hotel itself was beautiful and my room was my own little bungalow with a private pool and private beach.  Everything was available from the big plasma TV to a bed so plush you didn't want to get out.  The good thing was there wasn't a thing to do if you didn't want to.  And if you did, there were plenty of activities the hotel could provide for you.


There was a little island about fifteen minutes away from the hotel which was the spa (pictured above left).  I decided to get a  full day package which included two people doing the massage, four hands, in synch.  It was incredible.  During the massage, you would look down into the water and see the fish and other colourful sea life.

For secutiry (in case of fire or a tsunami), the hotel has provided life vest, whistles, and flashlights in each room as well as a "gathering place" everyone would go to and meet in the unlikely event something were to occur.


The staff was very very nice and individuals were happy to talk about their country and their lives in the Maldives.  Whilst sitting out reading a book, I heard a "clunk" - a coconut fell from the palm tree!  This never happened to me and it was exciting.  I took it and tried to open it with a knife from the room.  It was a struggle and a gentleman from the hotel was walking right by the beach in front of me and saw me and my project.  He told me to hold on a minute and went and got a huge coconut knife and opened it for me, let me drink the water and cut pieces of its' "meat" as the white pieces are called.


One young man told me as a kid he would find a piece of a bark fallen from a palm tree and use it to surf.  Also, instead of getting on a bus to go to school, he would take a boat every morning.  Just so fun how life is different for people all over the world.

Pros:  Very exclusive, very posh, very (fill in the blank)
Cons: Very far, transfer to Male for the day was USD$100.00 one way and had to be reserved in advance, and very, very expensive.



My Dreams. My Passions. My Life.
             Lifestyle Creator and Mens Designer George Zaharoff

maldives george zaharoff travel diary designer Four Seasons Maldives Male Turbo Tagger

The distance between places at the table must be geometrically spaced. There should not be a table that is so short that guest have no elbow room and the servants cannot pass the dishes properly. If a dining-room has very high-backed chairs and are places so close as to be almost touching, it's impossible for even the most skillful server not to risk spilling something over someone. Also, to place people a yard or more apart so that conversation has to be shouted into the din made by the shouting of all the others is equally trying. If you want to be ideal when setting the places at a dinner table make sure that from plate center to plate center is about two feet apart. If your chairs have a narrow and low backs then people can sit much closer together. This is especially true of a small round table, the curve of which leaves a spreading wedge wedge of space between the chairs at the back even if the seats touch at the front corners. But on the long, straight sides of a rectangular table in a very large dining room there should be 12 inches or a foot of space between the the chairs.

This is part of a series I've been wanting to do for a long time so I am excited I am able to have Eugene do this for my blog.  It is about etiquette as was appropriate in the Victorian Era (1837–1901).  During that time, culturally there was a transition away from the rationalism of the Georgian period and toward romanticism and mysticism with regard to religion, social values, and the arts. The era is popularly associated with the values of social restraint. What?  Social restraint? What's that?!?  So we move on....thank you for reading. 

Love, George

Refusing Wine or Food

If you don't wish to have wine it is best to allow a little to be poured into your glass. Unless your host happens to be looking at your glass when the wine is poured, he will not know later on that your almost empty glass was never filled. On the other hand, if he did happen to notice, he could not feel that much wine was wasted. In any case, to turn your wineglass upside down is a needlessly rude way to say, "No."