The Art of Conversation II: Names and Titles Among Strangers
90% Communication
It wasn't unusual for a wife to refer to her husband as "Mr. Jones" about a century ago. In today's society, customs and the way we refer to family and friends have changed considerably. Actually, the use of first names were restricted to children, between brothers and sisters, and perhaps (but only before their wedding day) by a girl and her fiancé. Can you imagine this nowadays? Maybe a child calling an elder "Mr. or Mrs." but that's about it.
It is custom to call your parents, mom or dad, but a stepparent with children, depending on the circumstances, it is in the children's power to call them by their first name. The most important thing is children should never be forced to call a stepparent "Mother" or "Father." If you are a stepparent, give your children the freedom and right to call you however they please.
There was a time when in a conversation with Friend A, to speak of absent friends by their first name was a no-no; it would have been seen as improper. For example, I bump into my friend John and tell him what happened between Messrs. Brown and Smith - it would seem absurd nowadays. (By the way, instead of Mr. Andrew and Mr. Smith, you can say Messrs. Brown and Smith.)
So, who cares? Who cares whether you call someone by their first name or Mr. or Mrs. or Dr.? It matters. Because the world is a mirror as to how you see yourself. If you want respect you must show respect. If you want respect you must respect yourself. How you communicate is the number one way you show how much you respect yourself first, and others second.
It's 90% communication.
Categories: Etiquette
Tags: etiquette communication salutation respect stepparent
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