A Gentleman's Tool: The Calling or Visiting Card

Calling card of Kaiser Wilhelm II

There was a time when every gentleman would have a calling card.  I’m not talking about a credit or a pre-paid long-distance card.  I’m talking about a true calling card.

Better known as a “visiting card” – a calling card is a small piece of paper with one’s name on it.  When they originated in China in the 15th Century there were no such things as telephone/fax numbers or e-mail addresses.  It would be a simple rectangular 2 inch x 1 inch card and in the center was one’s name.

Visiting card of Johann van Beethoven, brother of Ludwig van Beethoven

Calling cards came to the very wealthy in Europe during the 17th Century.  Let’s say we were living in those days.  I wanted to come visit you – since the telephone had been invented yet, there would be a certain time of day appropriate to pop in and say hello.  My footmen (or the coach “chauffeur” of aristocrats and royalty) would stop in front of your house and knock on your door.  Your servant would open the door where my footman would give your servant my calling card.

The servant would do one of two things.  If you were home, he would take the card to you and you would decide if you were able to see me (you might be doing other things).  If you were not home, there would be a special box where the calling cards would be placed.  This way, when you came home, you would find a handful of calling cards of everyone who had came to see you. It was not considered rude if you couldn’t see me and I was denied entry.

It was a quiet and gentle way of paying a visit and introducing oneself without being intrusive.  In a sense, sending a text message today asking if one is available to talk on the phone could be a cousin of the calling card. 

Calling cards became an indispensable tool of etiquette, with a very strict set of rules of how they were to be used.  Again, taking you and I as an example – if I paid an unexpected visit to you, I would never expect to see you in your own home without first presenting my card for you.  If you weren't home or couldn't see me, the proper thing would be for you to return the gesture by coming over to my house.  This also meant you didn’t mind me visiting you.  If you did not return the gesture OR if you sent your card in an envelope back to me, this was a clear signal I was unwelcome.  This was especially important if you were an unwed lady. 

This form of etiquette began in England and France and slowly spread throughout the aristocracy of Europe and Russia.  Eventually it spread to the United States.

There was only one thing, though, it was confined only to the social classes which employed servants.  For this to work the right way, a servant had to open the door and receive the card and you had to have one for the reciprocation.

Cards became quite ornate, they were engraved ornaments, embossed lettering, and fantastic coats of arms. 

An ornate calling card wooden case, even if the cards themselves became more simplistic.

In the 19th century, everything changed, things became more rigid in the United Kingdom.  More people were employing servants and calling cards became mainstream.  The cards became very simple with just the person’s name and that was it (a gentleman’s club could have been added but rarely).   As you can imagine though, the cards were kept in highly decorated card cases.

As life became more populated (and complicated), social circles became bigger, the calling card was no longer just for the rich and upper middle class.  Added were an address and other information, known now as the business card.

You can still use calling cards to this day, but only socially.  For example, I’m at a party and we meet.  Instead of handing you a business card, I would give you my calling card.  The right thing would be for me to cross out the “Mr.” if I wanted you to call me George.  Otherwise, I would leave it the way it is and then hand write the information I wanted you to have.  Interesting no?

I still use calling cards, but for a little known second reason:  enclosing it with a gift.